Every year we add a new group of freshmen boys to the team. And with that comes a bunch of new parents - some of whom might not know a lot about cross country in general and the Sandburg program in particular. So I thought I would reach out to some of our parents who spent a lot of time around the team to see what advice they might give to incoming parents.
Special thanks to all of them for taking the time to share their thoughts with all of us!
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What advice would you give to the parents of the new runners?
What an incredibly exciting time for you and your child! To be a part of the Sandburg running community is an experience you will cherish for a lifetime. This can also be a difficult time for parents as it’s a time where we start to step back and allow our kids the chance to take ownership of their personal experiences. We now have the privilege of standing on the periphery and watching our sons grow into self-confident, reflective, and problem-solving young men. Our advice to parents of new runners would be to respect your child’s space within the running community. Allow them the space to forge new friendships and problem solve on their own. Their coaches provide so many opportunities for fostering a mindset of goal setting, celebrating effort and perseverance, reflection, and community building. These lessons will help to further shape their character and provide skills for a lifetime. What can you do to support your son? Show up! Go to their meets, keep those channels of communication open, show them that you are there to listen and support them. They still need you and they want you there! Meet the other parents on the team. We have truly met some of the absolute, nicest families from the cross country program and we are still getting together with these families. Your support and involvement in your child’s running (& life) will unquestionably leave a positive and lasting impact on you and your child.
How did you and your son(s) benefit from being a part of the Sandburg cross country program?
The Sandburg cross country program offered a multitude of benefits to our sons that have continued to affect them to this day! Sean and Christopher have made life-long friends through the program. They’ve gained experience in building relationships and honing those soft skills which are so important in every aspect of life. Christopher has been told on several job interviews that it is his ability to communicate with others that has made the biggest impression in their decision to employ him. Don’t underestimate the power of effective communication!! The boys will practice this through active listening, reflection, and participation. The coaching is purposeful! My boys carry themselves with a quiet confidence, a confidence that they built through falling down and getting back up again. Our sons also benefitted financially as a result of college scholarships. It’s hard to imagine what their lives would look like today without the benefits of having run on Sandburg’s cross country team. Don and I also benefitted for having been a small part of the Sandburg running community. Backtracking off the scholarships the boys earned, we obviously reaped the benefits of the financial support they were receiving but we wouldn’t even say that was the greatest benefit. We found that the philosophy that we subscribed to in regard to raising our children closely aligned with the values ingrained in the program. The time the boys spent with the team actually reinforced the values that we have been instilling but it was almost more powerful because it was fostered by their team and supported by their peers. It certainly made our jobs as parents much easier! The greatest benefit we received, however, was completely unexpected. In 2014 we had some unimaginable losses in our family. To say it was a very difficult time would be an absolute understatement. The Sandburg cross country community rallied behind us like nothing we’ve ever experienced in our lives. There is so much to say about this story and, even after all of these years, we are still without words… We will never be able to fully express the gratitude we have for the relationships we have made during our time in the program.
What is your favorite memory as a parent of the cross country experience?
This question is so difficult to answer; there are so many great memories!!! I think it might seem obvious to say that it was watching these guys win the state championship in 2015, or qualifying to Nike Cross Nationals in Terre Haute, or watching them run Nike Cross Nationals in Portland. But in reality, it wasn’t any of these amazing accomplishments; it’s so much more minute. Living on the periphery of their experience was watching how they conducted themselves when they came in 2nd at State versus when they won. It’s observing the respect they had for their teammates, the trust they felt on the course, understanding that those boys were all committed to one another to show up and get the job done. It was how they showed admiration for their coaches. It was the way they they honored the narrative that they were running for something bigger than themselves and they were going to make those that came before them proud for paving the path. So, I guess our favorite memory is not necessarily the win or a title, but it lives in the small moments we gleaned, watching and listening to our sons as they blossomed into the men they are today. No one memory stands out as a favorite because, truthfully, it’s all of the seemingly inconsequential times that amassed into these great, big picture memories.
What advice would you give to the parents of the new runners?
My first piece of advice would be to enjoy the journey of being a part of the Sandburg team. Four years seems like a long time, but it goes by so fast. So many parents say they miss it when it's over. I think the number one piece of advice though would be to trust the coaches. I've been here long enough to say that they know what they are doing.
How did you and your son(s) benefit from being a part of the Sandburg cross country program?
I was lucky to have successful runners go through the Sandburg Cross Country Program. It took a lot of work, dedication, and sacrifice. Will, Ben and Grant were/are so focused on running I never had to worry about them drinking or doing anything that would jeopardize their running. Running taught them discipline, determination, and sacrifice. As a parent I never had to worry about them getting into trouble. I've thanked them many times for making the high school years easy on me.
What is your favorite memory as a parent of the cross country experience?
I honestly couldn't pick a favorite memory, there are so many. Will and Ben's whole senior season was incredible. The Sectional meet at Lyons that season was one of my favorite races of their running career and then the next week at state they ended up placing 9th and 11th. I always say I wish I could relive that season again.
I would say with Grant the best experience was the 2021 team winning state and then winning NXR. Grant placing 6th last year at state is one of my favorite memories. After everything he had been through with his legs, to come back and do so well at state is definitely a favorite memory of mine.
Overall, the whole experience with Sandburg Cross Country has been unforgettable. I will always be grateful for the 8 years of memories with this team.
What advice would you give to the parents of the new runners?
A few things:
- Trust these coaches - This is easier said than done. We all have had Positive & Negative experiences with those we entrust our children to. Some have agendas not always aligned with developing the child/young adult. Our experience is that the running community is better than most sports at developing the individual. That is even more true of the distance coaching staff at Sandburg.
- Support your kids… but don’t smother them. It’s amazing what they are capable of if they feel they (and their coaches) are driving their development in running.
- Running is not just a part time sport. Fostering a healthy environment for them that includes healthy foods and regular sleep schedules plays a direct role in them improving AND enjoying the sport.
How did you and your son(s) benefit from being a part of the Sandburg cross country program?
- Our son was fortunate in that he had natural talent in multiple sports. Sports came easy without much work, which doesn’t necessarily develop the individual. That is not what cross country is about. You don’t just cruise through. Everyone must put in the work before they get the opportunity to compete. It’s this journey that developed our son into a being a better young man. The camaraderie that developed during training made Sandburg XC become a passion for him. He used to not enjoy sports practices and just wanted to play the game. Sandburg XC developed a work ethic that we had not seen before. He immediately had a group of kids and coaches encouraging him. He learned that teamwork and supporting others is what makes the individual thrive.
- Our son grew so much when he was able to be part of a team that included polished upperclassmen as well as developing runners. He saw how the more mature runners acted and still supported the younger members of the team. Frankly, we would not have wanted our freshmen son hanging out with Juniors and Seniors in any sport we competed at in High School. This situation is completely different. It’s a different breed of person that thrives in this sport. Our son became more confident as he learned his role was as valued as anyone else’s on the team, as long as he worked hard. He became more confident in not only running but communicating. Having such strong role models on the coaching staff AND the roster fostered this.
- We benefited though this process in too many ways to list here. Certainly the quality people we interacted with enriched our lives then as it continues to do so now.
What is your favorite memory as a parent of the cross country experience?
We can’t name one memory without the other…
- We knew this would be a different sports experience for us early. The first “Color wars” was an excellent introduction to what this team was about. Compete hard but support harder - and have fun doing it! However, our earliest favorite memory, of which there are many, was reading the coaches recap after the first meet. It was incredible to see a staff this involved in all facets of the runner’s development. The connection to historic times and development of the more experienced runners as well as the improving efforts of the newer runners was very impressive. With a little “life coaching” to boot. While our son thought he was keeping these inspirational write-ups to himself, we must admit we began to look forward to our sneaked viewings of the meet recaps. We as parents are incredibly vested in our kids. It was amazing to see another group of adults so committed to them as well.
- We would be less than honest if we didn’t mention our son’s last high school XC race as our favorite memory. It was, but not just because it resulted in him attaining his ultimate High School goal – a Footlocker championship. It is such an incredible memory because all the themes from his entire Sandburg career were in place at his last race- just as it was at his first. Selfless support regardless of result. Show up for your teammates and support them in their journey. The entire coaching staff traveled to the Footlocker championship to support a Sandburg runner. A runner, by the way, that was dealing with things that made his winning less than likely. It was that consistent support that began four years earlier at Color Wars and was out in full force that sunny day in San Diego. The result was a successful culmination of a high school career. A true shared experience of an individual’s goal that become a team’s goal. A four-year journey to a Footlocker championship. Also, it was very cool that a former Sandburg Footlocker champion was there holding the Finish line!
What advice would you give to the parents of the new runners?
Get used to the idea that your son won't ever be satisfied with their run/race, even though you think their time/effort was outstanding. They're striving for excellence and consistent improvement, and part of that process is understanding that they can accomplish even more. That said, be sure to be patient and supportive of your athlete, and celebrate them after every run.
How did you and your son(s) benefit from being a part of the Sandburg cross country program?
We all got healthier together by jumping on the O'Malley training bandwagon. We focused on getting the right amount of sleep, hydration and super foods. As well, we learned lessons about sportsmanship, teamwork, striving for excellence beyond athletics, patience, mental tenacity, and so much more.
What is your favorite memory as a parent of the cross country experience?
I could write a 500 page book of memories... Here are a couple: Color Wars costume prep and parade always brought joy to our family. Trips to Peoria for state meets were a highlight, as it not only was fun to chase the runners and cheer them on, but also to make friendships with the other parents and bond with the coaches.